Death

So i woke up this morning, was laying in bed quite comfortably and i turned my stereo on. Last night i popped in an old favourite of mine - Dir en Grey's amazing album Kisou - and really really listened to it properly. Now i am not sure if it was the cathartic metal crescendos or the wonderfully emotive ballads on the record - but something was planted for the next morning. I woke up and put it in on again and thought holy shit, im back in my j-rock phase! This hasn't happened for a long time so it was a very good feeling. The only depressing thing about it was listening to that album reminded me of how good Dir en Grey once were, how creative, neurotic and beautiful they once were - ever since they started touring America with Korn they were never the same....OH WELL i still have their older albums to hold onto. So all is not lost.

Now, back to the crux of my story. I woke up, lazed for a while and got up to have a shower - and in the shower as i usually do i began to wonder what if....today's what if was a particularly revelational one. What if today i was diagnosed with cancer that would end my life in 12 months time? Morbid i know, but it made me realise how little i appreciate the things i once had, the thigns i have now, and what might come to be. Yes, its pretty hollow and its just me being contemplative, but it made me feel good.

I think i'll head back to my Dir en Grey for a while...haha.

Peace and Love

AS